How To Gain Self Empowerment When You Feel Like a Born Loser

The learning process of how to gain self-empowerment is a life-long journey. We must keep coming back to examine if something has disempowered us and then course-correct. Sometimes we can even be born into challenging situations, and if we play that comparison game as we grow older, we can look at our lives and think, am I a born loser? The answer is a big ass NO. 

No matter how badly you’ve fucked up or how often you’ve had to pick yourself up off the ground, you can discover how to empower yourself. You are NOT a “born loser,” as there is no such thing. The journey is to build (or regain) your confidence and find new pathways to living your life. 

Bypassing and Why That Doesn’t Help

There is a major benefit to feeling the pain of feeling like a “born loser” instead of ignoring it and pretending you don’t feel that way.

Ignoring (or “bypassing”) how we feel is dangerous. What do we think happens when we keep pushing our emotions down deeper and deeper? Where do those feelings go? Do they leave our bodies/minds/spirits, or do they get trapped and turn into illness and cause massive hardships later? 

PsychMechanics has a great definition of suppressed emotions: 

“Suppressed emotions are simply emotions you choose not to acknowledge, thereby failing to act on them or expressing them. One fact you need to be aware of is that emotions can never really be suppressed and have to leak out in one way or the other. So it makes no sense trying to suppress them.”

In looking at research, there is a lot of harm that suppressed emotions can do to our minds, bodies, and spirits: 

Studies confirm that bottling up emotions can make people more aggressive. Go to https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/03/110323105202.htm to read more.

Suppressed emotions can leak into your dream time. What are nightmares? Read on to find out more: https://www.psychmechanics.com/why-we-get-recurring-dreams-and-how-to/ 

Negative, untapped, and hidden emotions can lead to many physical issues and mental distress. Stress truly is a killer… Read more about that here:  ​​https://www.stress.org/can-stress-kill-you 

Facing Our Fears vs. Living In Fear 

Frustrations, hardships, and the times we feel like born losers can knock us down. Getting knocked down is part of this experience and not something we should be ashamed of. In fact, I would challenge all of us to feel instead proud of “failures” AND the pain they brought with them. Through that pain is how we learn BIG lessons (if we choose to). 

Facing the pain can be empowering and do less harm than fearing it. Something to remember is that remaining in a situation that is unhealthy is not good. 

What if you’re holding onto something that’s not good for you, and that thing is taking up unnecessary space within your life and disempowering you?

Now, think about what it would be like to let go of that thing. 

What if by opening up that space in your life, the universe/you could start filling that space with things that are only HEALTHY and GOOD for you?

Wouldn’t that feel good? Imagine that right now. Take yourself on a journey. 

Is anything in your life holding you back because you don’t want to seem like a “failure?” 

Or are you holding onto something out of fear? 

Fear is an emotion that can keep you holding onto shit that you should never have held in the first place. And then being afraid to feel the pain when you go through the process of letting go will constipate you further. Not just physically, but constipating you emotionally and spiritually too. 

We have to get rid of the things that hold us down before moving forward; otherwise, it’s like we try to walk around with anchors on our feet. How far can we walk around with a massive boat anchor tied to our ankles? (Side note, anchors used on vessels such as aircraft carriers and cruise ships weigh over 60,000 pounds!)

When feeling disempowered, letting go of the anchors can lead us to finding new people and discovering new creative outlets. This is how we fill our lives with things that are good for us. 

Doing New Things

A fantastic feeling that can help us become more confident and shed the “born loser” feeling is when we learn a new skill, craft, or creative endeavor. It’s also a great way to meet new people who share your interests and are better suited for your life.

Just to give you some ideas, you could…

• Start journaling and writing things down as you never know where those writings can lead
• Learn to play an instrument
• Go to meetup.com and see what’s in your area to try something new
• Take back a lost art that maybe you used to do in your past; maybe it’s painting? Coloring? Calligraphy? 
• Build a time machine

…or anything else that gets your creative juices flowing! (Keep me posted if you build a time machine!)

Summary

When feeling disempowered and like we’re born losers, that’s when we have to look at what we’re doing with our life. Are we facing our fears and moving forward? Or are we holding onto things that aren’t good for us? The good shit is just on the other side of the walls of our comfort zones. If we buck up, stand up to the pain, and see the gifts, we can get over to the other side of it all. Trust in that process and see how fast the “born loser” feeling dissipates.